“I’m T. Rex-y for this shirt” is a good way of saying that a shirt you’re trying on is too long in the arms.
A collection of true things, made up things, and photographed things.
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was taller
I wish I were a height that is tall
I’d be taller
If I could have dinner with any person living or dead I’d choose a dead person because I hate making small talk while eating.
A Holiday Message
So on Thanksgiving, I awoke to find this email in my inbox:
“I am thankful for each of you and for the many ways you make Blanchard’s Coffee Co. great.
It was a bit odd, considering I don’t work at Blanchard’s Coffee Co., and even odder considering it’s a coffee roastery in Richmond, Virginia, a good 300 miles from Brooklyn. My assumption is they have someone on staff there with a name similar to mine, and they misspelled it and I ended up getting the message.
Normally, people just ignore these sorts of things. Technology is imperfect, as we all know. What I did, though, was reply-all with horror-themed Thanksgiving emails for the duration of the day. They were as follows:
Summer is over. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I know, I know, you didn’t go to the beach as much as you wanted to, and there was that weekend where you got that really bad sunburn, but it was fun, wasn’t it? Lots of good memories. But it’s Fall now. Not officially, but as far as I’m concerned. And it’s a better season, really. No heat waves, plenty of sweatshirts, and, most importantly, new music. Get it while it’s hot.
Moonjock - Animal Collective
Offspring Are Blank - Dirty Projectors
Who - David Byrne and St. Vincent
Drift Drive - The Antlers
Caught Me Thinkin - Bahamas
New York - Angel Haze
I Know What Love Isn’t - Jens Lekman
I Wanna Die Young - Great Bloomers
Para - Calexico
Fisticuffs and Affidavits - Parlovr
Amy (AKA Spent Gladiator 1) - The Mountain Goats
Heavy Is As Heavy Does - Menomena
I’m Not Talking - A.C. Newman
Jesus, Etc. (Wilco Cover) - Bill Fay
Forrest Gump - Frank Ocean
Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings - Father John Misty